I love Sister Library, please don't get me wrong. She was the first person I called when Mr. Library and I got engaged to ask immediately if she would be my MOH. She has such great style, amazing art talent, and is gorgeous to boot. She had been so excited to think about helping out with weddings before Mr. Library popped the question that I knew she was not only the best choice, but the wholeheartedly most wonderful choice for the job. With an overwhelming yes and a few shrieks, we were off.
So what's the problem? All of that excitement has somehow died away for her. Mr. Library and I have had, to say the least, a lengthy engagement (he proposed in April 2008 and we're getting married in July 2010) and it bothered her that I couldn't give her any jobs to complete right off the bat. Sorry, Sister Library, I can't give you anything to do when I cannot do anything myself! I have kept her in the know about everything we have planned -- from the wedding cake topper to the many, many ideas over where to shop for bridesmaids' dresses to picking out the reception location -- and have asked her to come to everything multiple people can come to. Unfortunately, her answer to many of the group outings have been "Sorry, I can't go. I have 'this' planned instead."
Sad. She's my sister. I want her to be apart of all of this. While it wasn't anyone's fault that she couldn't be at the Running of the Brides, but I cried half of the way home from Massachusetts because she wasn't there when I found my dress. She was clearly upset, though she tried to hide it, and I think it has bothered her ever since. When I asked her to come look for bridesmaids' dresses, she said she had to visit her boyfriend instead. Needing to know what she thought about dresses and wanting to have some one-on-one time with her, I scheduled an appointment for she and I to have fun with ridiculous dresses and cameras. She wasn't having it. With the enthusiasm of someone getting three teeth pulled at the dentist, she trudged through trying on dresses, through her hands up and proclaimed that she didn't care what the dress looked like, I was the bride. When I asked her what was wrong, she snarled that this appointment had been my idea, not hers, and I should be more aware of what works for her. She was missing time with her boyfriend and had to try on "stupid dresses."
What do I do? I want her to enjoy this process with me and all on her own. This wedding, to me, is about bringing family together, and it hurts that a key family member just isn't having anything to do with it. I have consider the fact that maybe it is more important to me than anyone else, and perhaps I have a ton of wedding energy to burn off. But is it too much to ask to have her a little excited?
Have any of you had problems with wedding motivation for a wedding party member?
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